Anomalous

Some things truly just come into your life and sweep you off of your feet.

I'm the luckiest guy not in London. :)

Although, I'm looking even more forward to being the luckiest guy in London.

Stronger every day

I'm actually doing it.

I am full on in the middle of training to be a career firefighter.

Everyday is a new challenge, it's getting harder for us every day and the rules are starting to tighten down on us.  I can feel the leniency of the first day already beginning to fade, the workouts are harder and group oriented, if one of us is falling behind, we all suffer.  There is pain in every part of what we do, and simply pushing through it to generate the best results possible is all that I can think about.  I'm giving everything that I have to this program. It is my time to shine and show how marketable I truly am as a recruit.  The days of me messing around and simply letting life pass me by are over, I have to work harder than I ever have in my entire life to prove that I am the best.

Sadly, I just ate the last bit of ice cream I'm going to allow myself for the remainder of the semester.  A terrible thing (but not really) that is going to help me push my way to the top of my class.  It's all the little things that are going to make a difference in where I end up.

As hard as it all is, I love every minute of it.  The drills, the workouts, having someone yelling at me to push it and be better.  To have to fight just to hold on for those last five seconds of an exercise.

On an entirely different note, I've had Frankie in my dreams for the last couple of nights, very vividly.  I remember holding him last night, and just feeling an overpowering confidence and warmth coming over my entire body. Almost like he's helping me unlock my full self and my true potential.

I really miss the guy, he was a huge part of my life and will always be a part of who I am and how I act.

Animals, I have found, can exhibit unfathomable levels of love and compassion for creatures that we apparently see as subordinate to ourselves (humans.) But I truly believe that it is the other way around, and that in many situations that humans are the ones that should be learning from the animals around them.

Frankie was the best example of that in my life.

He lived to be very old, and I think very wise. He saw me grow up and play with him, which is simply something that cats do not want a part in. He saw me mature and let his guard down to me.

And then I saw it, the wisdom that is, in his eyes. He was tolerant of many cats coming and going from our household despite their personalities. And showed love for any and all people.

So I'm dedicating my efforts in the RCA to Frankie, and that I may too be able to show such unconditional tolerance.

26.2 ≤ Me

 My Marathon.

Done.

Notice that I'm not necessarily greater that my marathon, and that I'm quite possibly equal to it.  Because it almost bested me, only by shear willpower was I able to make it across that finish line.

 

     It makes me unbelievably happy to be able to say that I'm done with it.  As of right now I still am walking like I was mugged and brutally beaten on Saturday, and that is certainly earning me some strange looks from the people of Seattle.  I'm pretty sure everyone here either thinks that I am drunk, or a junkie.  So I'm doing my best to play the part, it's more fun that way.

     A lot of what I want to say is thank you to all those who supported me. But I feel like I didn't get a whole lot of that. I think it's time that I thank the person who pushed me the hardest to get this done.

Myself.

     Self centered much? Yeah, I don't really care.  I was one of the only runners that I noticed was alone through the entire process of registration, race prep, and running.  When I got to the end of the race, what did I get? A bottle of Gatorade. Granted it was delicious, having run for that long you nurture a thirst that is unlike any other. All of this while watching others run into the arms of their family, and their friends. Meanwhile my greatest support was more than one thousand miles away, and even they couldn't be bothered to answer a phone call when the race was done.

    I do things by myself a lot these days, and I'm really starting to like it that way.  I've found that although it is a lonely feeling, solitude can also be one of the most transcending and beautiful ways of living.

    But you know what, you know who I couldn't have done the race without? Absolutely would have fallen flat on my face without the aid of? Zac Brown and his Band.

You think that's weird maybe?

Probably yeah..

But one can't underestimate the power of the right kind of music while you're running for five and a half hours. That shit gets boring.

But HOLY SHIT, I digress.

I want to thank everyone that has been in my life, good or bad, because you have made me who I am today.  Even if I think I hate you, you're a part of me. Especially if you hate me, you're a part of me ;) 

For those of you that I love, and I truly hope that you know who you are. You are a BIG part of me, and I hope that you will continue to be that to me.

My marathon let me figure something out that has taken far too long to discover. I am strong, and I don't need other people to hold me up. 

I know this last photo has been used, and re-used, and re-hashed and shared, and posted and liked about a million times. But I think it fits here.

Opportunities

Time to take advantage.

Dissonance

I feel as though... I'm sitting within the 7th step of an octave.  One simple step away from resolution. Just one last note need be played, and all can move forward. Yet I cannot play the eighth.

I am stuck. Not of my own choosing, but none the less, I am stuck.

I can't see the benefit of ending on the seventh. Nobody walks away happier for it. I'm sure if you've ever ended a song without true musical resolution you understand that in fact, the song has simply not ended. It's either that, or the composer has chosen to render you vastly more uncomfortable than you thought music could leave you. All for the sake of torturing you.

Just so they can lord it over you that they have the upper hand! "HA." An empty proclamation.

When it could so simply be resolved.

Can the musician meet the composer? Can peace be made?
Yes.

The two would never have to interact again, but for the love of life WHY can't their separation be on a good note. Or a good chord.  Just so that everyone can breathe deep, and let the past stay where it belongs.

I hope this message can reach anyone in the world trying to hold a grudge. Holding onto the bad feelings to keep themselves at bay.
Find a way to let yourself go, and help others do the same. Face the music, all of it.

"Nuff said"

People always put that by something that apparently needs no words to compliment it....

Then why are you saying, "Nuff said?"

If something truly stands on it's own, the let it.

Summertiming

  It's back to the good old days of summer. Sleepless nights, followed by long days at work in the hot and unforgiving sun.  Fortunately I'm still suffering the suns wrath whilst working next to a lake, so it's not overly difficult to find relief.

  Just like every summer of the last 5 years of my life, some things came together at the beginning of the season that brought a lot of joy into my life.  Then, as if Houdini himself planned it, it was gone.  Although I suppose that in this instance it comes with some level of explanation, not the mystery that is the draw of magic tricks.

  I don't know why it always seems to go that way for me...

  I'm looking forward to being immersed in a school environment again this upcoming fall, and looking even further ahead, I am beyond enthusiastic about rejoining the ranks of Park City's ski patrol. Even with all of these incredible things happening to me, and happening around me; I can't help but feel like there is something missing.  It's like what I have is good, but I still need to find that secret ingredient that is going to make it great.

 

  There is time yet, to seek out and discover this 'secret ingredient'.  So as always I must struggle to be on the winning side of the internal struggle to keep on believing.

  Here's the real kicker, I knew going into this summer that I didn't have it, but just being where I was made me plenty happy.  I wasn't about to ask for more, I didn't want to ask questions, I just wanted to go with it.  So I did, and that alone made me content... or satisfied... whatever.  The point is, just like every other summer, I went into my longer and brighter days of the year a happy person.  Yet somehow, it all had to change.

   CHANGE.

  It's not something that frightens me, or at least I don't think that it does. However, the time when change is afoot, but not quite in full bloom.  A sort of purgatory if you will.  That place of indecision, where it seems that all must come to a stand still to truly grasp the vastness, or scale of the change. Just as the idea is about to be given that little push necessary to grow and mature into bigger and better things.  I     Hate      That      Feeling.  I don't do that.  I won't let it happen to me.  It's the same thing as standing on the diving board too long before you jump, and everyone around you is saying, "Don't think about it! Just do it!"

JUST DO IT.

JUST DO IT.

JUMP. Take the leap!  Because then no matter what happens, you still tried.  You can walk away saying to yourself, "That was awful, and I'll probably never do that again.  But hey, at least I tried it." 

I think everyone could use a little more, do before you think attitude.

Get up that wall. I promise you, you'll be happy that you did it.

So maybe my theme this summer will be, 'At least I tried.'  I think I like that.

Ski Patrol

                                            I miss Ski Patrol. I really really want to do it again.
    I miss Zeke, and my team! This last winters was easily one of the best winters of my life, even though the snow never really came.
Andy was an awesome leader,  he made sure I was doing every thing correctly and then let me go get after it on my own. Team leader of the year...

Mandy was the best, I could talk to her about anything and know she would listen.

 

Ken was always funny, I don't know that there was anything that he couldn't make light of... or make fun of.  

 Zeke was awesome, there were times that I just wanted him to shut up. But most of the time he was just a great source of entertainment. Top Dog on the mountain.

That's probably what I miss more than anything. Just the great people I got to work with.