Just like every summer of the last 5 years of my life, some things came together at the beginning of the season that brought a lot of joy into my life. Then, as if Houdini himself planned it, it was gone. Although I suppose that in this instance it comes with some level of explanation, not the mystery that is the draw of magic tricks.
I'm looking forward to being immersed in a school environment again this upcoming fall, and looking even further ahead, I am beyond enthusiastic about rejoining the ranks of Park City's ski patrol. Even with all of these incredible things happening to me, and happening around me; I can't help but feel like there is something missing. It's like what I have is good, but I still need to find that secret ingredient that is going to make it great.
There is time yet, to seek out and discover this 'secret ingredient'. So as always I must struggle to be on the winning side of the internal struggle to keep on believing.
Here's the real kicker, I knew going into this summer that I didn't have it, but just being where I was made me plenty happy. I wasn't about to ask for more, I didn't want to ask questions, I just wanted to go with it. So I did, and that alone made me content... or satisfied... whatever. The point is, just like every other summer, I went into my longer and brighter days of the year a happy person. Yet somehow, it all had to change.
CHANGE.
It's not something that frightens me, or at least I don't think that it does. However, the time when change is afoot, but not quite in full bloom. A sort of purgatory if you will. That place of indecision, where it seems that all must come to a stand still to truly grasp the vastness, or scale of the change. Just as the idea is about to be given that little push necessary to grow and mature into bigger and better things. I Hate That Feeling. I don't do that. I won't let it happen to me. It's the same thing as standing on the diving board too long before you jump, and everyone around you is saying, "Don't think about it! Just do it!"
JUST DO IT.
JUST DO IT.
JUMP. Take the leap! Because then no matter what happens, you still tried. You can walk away saying to yourself, "That was awful, and I'll probably never do that again. But hey, at least I tried it."
I think everyone could use a little more, do before you think attitude.
Get up that wall. I promise you, you'll be happy that you did it.
So maybe my theme this summer will be, 'At least I tried.' I think I like that.
